72) On Academia (part 1)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-au2hc-bf61bf

I call the university my temple, holy place, sanctuary, haven, oasis, paradise, Shangri-La, et cetera…

…It seeks (seeks!) an honesty whose nude body radiates bluntly with fitness, and beauty, exploring its sexuality, or dressing in clothes with a style of elegance that offends only offenders…

…Knowledge and critical thinking, in theory, preserved and advanced…

71) On time (part 2)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-g3atm-be7870

*For Robert Musil who inspired me to get a little creative with subtitles *

A) Time Resides in the Upper-Class of my Hierarchy of Values

Time. I value it more than money. Which doesn’t say so much for money actually. Yes, money stands high as one the most powerful and unique resources and forms of energy and power a human can possess…not just because by flashing it around you can buy, attract products and people to you and thus appear powerful, because with it you can compel services, start and win a war, et cetera, but more abstractly what money represents is the act of enabling…beyond its quality as “capital” it is raw, pure resource which directed in this or that way leads to milestones in medicine, technology, the spreading and preservation of art and culture. Used to its full potential it’s like a genie in a magic lamp though you may be limited to more or less than three wishes. Similar to  Aladdin’s genie it cannot make someone fall in love with you. It can’t in itself kill someone or bring someone back to life, though it can try to buy the corrupted or merciful and gracious efforts to bring someone back to life. My point is that it is that time outdoes money and thus its meaning towers over money’s...

…B) Time and both experiential and corporeal mortality

I hate to bring mortality into this discussion. It is my least favorite subject…

 

C) Borrowing Heidegger’s title ‘Being and Time’

 

Sometimes I think of reading Martin Heidegger’s Being and Time simply because the title is so captivating (how wide and all encompassing it seems— mortality of the living and conscious, eternity of the universe?). It had been my recollection that nothing more than the book’s title ever grabbed my attention…thus far in my 33 year life, but as I flipped through Bertrand Russell’s The History of Western Philosophy to read up on Heraclitus and change I rediscovered an annotation I made who knows when that I thought Heraclitus was “Like Hiedegger” (yes, I capitalized my L and misspelt the man’s name). I do not remember in the least why I wrote this. 

 

…D) Why I think the ‘week’ is my favorite unit of time lately and how I loved my Saturdays

 

Over the past few years I sought out time management advice from professors and mentors. The only novel word of advice I received was to keep lists which I now do. Actually one professor complimented my basic approach, saying I appeared to have it covered and that when I finally graduated my to-do lists would simmer down. I appreciated it but it is now a year or so later and the subject still makes me feel as though I am slightly neurotic….

63) Art

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-e8u86-bcdf22

Music plays on my Apple laptop…the back reads: “Designed by Apple in California. Assembled in China.”

According to the “executive summary” for the China Labor Watch Website “workers making the iPhone” are exploited, paid just $1.85 per hour.

(Compare to my $11; compare to $7.25, America’s minimum wage).

The Guardian reports that the Foxcon Longhua factory in China, which manufactures iPhones,

has body catching nets to curtail its suicide epidemic.

Should I trash what the workers produced in protest, and boycott?…

62) On how I try way too hard

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-jzqzu-bcb1d8

*In pursuit of economic success, intellectual/artistic recognition, and mentoring, I have tried too hard which has been the cause of mistakes and failed relationships*

Do I want to be rich and famous with that house on the beach?  For most of my life I desired as much. That is perhaps not so unique. Though maybe people would sooner enjoy riches than fame per se. A lot of attention for awhile might seem attractive but long enduring fame? Misleading speculations about you in the media? I think Bob Dylan described it interestingly in his song “Idiot Wind“:…

…I do suppose one of the most embarrassing thoughts I lock inside myself is that I want to be a genius. Not the “know it all” kind. Nor the showy kind. Just as I cannot stand the flaunting of wealth, so I likewise cannot stand the flaunting of knowledge or intelligence. Flaunting in general I consider to be counter-productive, subjective, like very bad music–…

…In the last year I perhaps overdid it with three professors who I wanted to get closer to intellectually, who I wanted to be my mentors, who I wanted to “take me on”– they, my Jean-Luc Picards, and me their William Riker. They, my Schopenhauers. Me, their Nietzsches. They, my Verlaines. Me, their Rimbauds. (Without the sex and romance.) Have you ever seen the movie The Paper Chase? Ever fall in love intellectually, so to speak, with a professor, to a point that he or she is on such a pedestal that his or her approval is the mark of your intellectual success or failure, your brilliance or your incompetence?…

…From an immediate emotional point of view I wanted to call Dr. X a bitch. Just once…

Now with respect to my intellectual vanity of sorts, the fact is, my ego was crushed by these three professors and William Paterson University’s decision not to award me with a graduate assistantship despite my 3.98 gpa and I guess explicitly and blatantly expressed freakish obsession with the brilliance of some of their professors. 

(I am not ashamed of being freakishly obsessed with the brilliant work of brilliant people. These days I think there is not enough of this kind of appreciation going around…)

 

…There is a typo in the email I sent to the editor of the New York Times’ op/ed page, James Bennet. I sent him the email because…well…I envisioned two attractive scenarios: 1) his feedback on my essays (maybe he might even like them and share them with someone and maybe so would begin the tale of my increased readership and enough of my podcasts downloaded that advertisers would start paying me and I could finally convert this second gig into my full-time occupation; 2) Mr. Bennet thinks I could contribute something of value to the New York Times and puts my name forward for a writing job there.

Alas, I learned when applying for the Creative Writing MFA program at the University of New Hampshire that espousing one’s attraction to an apparent ethos is not to be confused with ultimately defeating the competition for this or that role within their community and demonstrating how you align as specifically as possible with what they are looking for.] 

how much does someone want to be unraveled by a person who is self marketing to them? Part of me worries that taking the time to try and establish some kind of connection might be viewed as a flamboyant act of bullshit. I imagine the recipient of the email wanting to say “you know and I know you just want something from me. So what do you want and let me see to what degree it seems like it may or may not accord with my values, interests et cetera…”

 

 

 

 

61) Striving to create diplomatic art and media in a dog-eat-dog world

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-wixvf-bbcd50

*What am I forgetting to think about, distracted and preoccupied with that damn blockade of financial concerns and anxiety? How many of us ask ourselves this question or… how many others could we ask this question for as they too are bogged down by things which compassionate folks would like to see them not bogged down by

*…And beyond the economic anxiety and poverty there are other things which hijack the mind’s potential or rob a life…  the emotions of serious illness, being damned by some kind of “bad luck”– medical malpractice, just a bad reaction to a medication at the wrong time (such as was the cause of my father’s own untimely death), getting struck by lightning, figuratively or literally…shot by a bigot, victim of a space shuttle explosion or terrorist attack…. Things which haunt me to consider…when I was younger I felt morally obligated to envision tragedies of all kinds befalling me if only to “hold the hands” of the less fortunate in my own way and share the misery with them. 

But to fixate on this dogmatically is masochistic and raises no one up…brings no wisdom or improvement or real hope to anyone.    

So I seek understanding for knowledge’s sake…

*…I find myself more attracted to “the media” industry now than academia but it is strange. Like a divorce.

*…Although the trouble of people feeling they must kiss ass is just a social problem in general, not industry specific. That is one thing believe it or not I refuse to do. I find it degrading. I find ass-kissing and being told what to say or think without any invitation for discussion to be utterly degrading.

*…All of this can be VERY expensive business, I realize. You know…independent media…starting up your own business, living on your own terms, making art, saying what you really think (some people experience hurt feelings very easily. I feel bad about it but it’s also not fair for their hurt feelings to get priority over honesty. I believe the right course of action is thus diplomacy, which I give my all to as a writer and activist though I sometimes fail. I remember when I applied for a political organization and asked questions about their policy positions. I didn’t mean to poke holes in their lifework or disrespect their souls but if they will not be open to discussion then they too are poking holes…to some degree it actually is a “dog eat dog” world.

*….how many people do you know who are or seem or say they are tired or busy? 

I haven’t taken a tally but I have heard people describe themselves as tired and /or busy almost, I think, as often I’ve heard people ask the question “how are you?” which, if not followed by “tired” or “busy” is followed by that word “good” which…maybe you are a little suspicious of or maybe you know full well you are telling a so called “white lie” as to not tell the story of all that’s frustrating you. (In fact, this is all so common place that it is brought up in friendlier conversation often itself!)

*… About these somewhat and “sort of” seemingly chaotic thoughts (to borrow Dylan’s description “sort of”  once more! And perhaps not for the last time!)…the sense of chaos and confusion is not…so far as I can tell…fundamentally epistemological. (Epistemology tends towards the cut and dry for me: if you’re acquainted with me you know my mantra of objectivity, empiricism, non-contradiction, law of identity, pragmatic clarification…) Rather, it’s a struggle to accept a degree of imperfection…

*...What exactly is the definition of media? 

And why (emphasis here on the WHY) can I be confident that this definition, more so than all others, is THE definition? 

Can that which we call “art,” just to give you an example of what happens in my mind as I contemplate definitions, count as part of that broader notion of “media?”

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#57) On social & digital media (part 2)

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-v5n86-b9b190

Pieces of media, for me, just like words and thought, are like units of gold, or precious metals and stones as I contemplate what seems to be, not only an “information age” we’re living in, but a “media age” as social and digital media, especially on the internet, impact our lives and international culture. So much, just in my short 33 years thus far, in the world of media, and my experiences with media, has changed, from my fixation on VHS cassettes to CD’s to books, to digital files and websites. It amazes me how these various forms of media have opened me up to so much, from listening on CD’s to song lyrics of the Bee Gees to the streaming audio files of Ayn Rand essays and lectures, from reading Bukowksi books in print to fixating on website experiences. 

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#56) On thought

Thought & talking comprise my “why” for this podcast series. Speaking to thought more specifically, three things which I find especially amazing about it: 1) how it directs our actions; 2) how it constructs our notions of meaning; 3) how it enables us to communicate/ how we communicate it. I believe art (which I define as contemplations and dreams) enables some of the most in depth glimpses into a person’s thoughts, how they think, and the focuses of their thoughts. In my case I like to identify and record contemplations and with as much clarity as I can, which is not only an aesthetic idea but encompasses my system of philosophical thought. I believe art tends to be an expression of one’s philosophy. I believe that art also stands beside journalism and history as in helping ourselves and posterity gain a fuller sense of understanding the human experience. 

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